There has been a lot of this. People using the internet to grieve deaths of loved ones in their lives, either their family members, friends, or a hometown person. Especially, on facebook. It happens all over facebook. When a loved one passes away, they’ll put up a post in their walls about it, and their supporters will write back to them saying stuff like, “My condolences”, “If you need anything, let me know”, etc. blah blah blah… you get the deal. I’m sure you’ve seen it all over facebook, too. I understand it’s hard dealing with death of a loved one. Somebody important. So lets ask the question again from the title of this topic, should you really grieve publicly? Is this a good idea?
The answer is no. It is not a good idea…, and here is why for a few big reasons. 1) It should be a private matter 2) It should be off the public out of respect for family and friends 3) This is not what the deceased person you’re grieving for would want.
Believe me, I know what it is like to lose a loved one. I’ve lost a few important people in my life this year, and I try not to make it public. It’s a bad idea for a lot of reasons. A lot of friends and family shouldn’t know about their death ’cause of facebook. It also might anger some people.
My heart goes out to the two Shen kids that were killed in that Northway crash, but should they be getting all this attention in the local media? In my opinion, no they shouldn’t. It should be a private thing for their family & friends. Why does it have to be a huge public thing? Oh that’s right. It helps the news get more ratings and helps people buy more papers. That’s why this story is such a huge media frenzy. My facebook newsfeed is all over this Shen car crash story. I never posted about it in facebook ’cause I don’t know them. No offense to the local people out there, I’m just being real.
The same thing happened to that young girl in Greenwich, that was killed in a truck accident. That story started making the local news.
Again, no disrespect in any of this. It’s sad that these things happen, and it’s terrible. Yes. They shouldn’t be made public. Then of course, with today’s technology, social media and the local news, there’s nothing you can do about it. The local news are pretty cold and evil people. I don’t watch local news anymore. Sad, but true. It’s honestly kind of annoying seeing the Shen kids get all this attention in facebook. I never understood it.
People die everyday. Life moves on. I only grieve for people who I know really well. Grieving for celebrity deaths is okay ’cause they’re public figures, but for people you don’t know, there’s something wrong there. I’m not trying to be an ass, just had to rant, so no offense to anybody out there.
Kev
Edit to add: I was kind of nervous writing this blog post, ’cause it maybe controversial, but hell, maybe I finally made a post that everyone actually agrees with? Who knows?
K'Brocking 
Hmm…What you have done here is compared posting a bereavement on Facebook, and The Media’s handling of a death, say through a tragic accident for example. First of all lets have a look at the media’s portrayal and use your local accidents as examples. Sadly when the media gets hold of such a thing, they will report it and the families are in the spotlight whether they wish to be or not. I lost my nan (Grandmother) a few years back in a tragic accident abroad, and the local media picked up on this, because my Grandad died abroad in similar circumstances a few years before, so all of a sudden my family were labelled as being “cursed” by the local media. Yeah we didn’t like it, but there was nothing we could do and we were only in the spotlight for a few days. The media loves a tragedy sadly.
But there have been times as well when members of the public have taken advantage of the Media’s (good nature). A few years ago in England the mother of Shannon Matthews went on TV to say that her daughter was missing, and a big media campaign to try and find her was launched. A short time afterwards the girl was found (alive) in a compartment under her uncle’s bed. Turned out the family (Not including Shannon herself) staged the abduction to get money and publicity. Needless to say they were punished.
Now for my take on social media. In my opinion bereavement is a very personal thing and how each person handles it differs. What you may have overlooked is that people may be experiencing their first bereavement and announcing it publicly online maybe the best way to deal with it. Also people who may have experienced recent or similar bereavements maybe there to offer extra support. Posting such news can cause rifts with other family members and friends online, which I have seen, but because bereavement is such a personal matter, there can really be no set rule about how to deal with it. If I see a bereavement on any of my pages, I offer my condolences regardless of how well I know the person or not.
I think an “Each to their own” attitude is the best stance to take on this Kev.
That’s a nice write up! It’s just my opinion that people who have tragic deaths should not have been made public. It really should be a private family matter. Like you said though, the local news media LOVE tragic deaths, that’s exactly what makes those news reporters cold and evil people. What ever makes these people the money. I just find that all this publicity that Chris and Deanna are getting is absolutely ridiculous.
Whenever it’s my time to go, I would not want all this attention. Of course, nothing could be done about it. Free country, I guess. People do what they want to do.
Kev
3) This is not what the deceased person you’re grieving for would want.
How do you know, are you a clairvoyant ?